Broke and Beautiful Trilogy by Tessa Bailey
- Alisha Eadle
- 2 days ago
- 21 min read
Chase Me
by Tessa Bailey
Published by Avon
Book 1 in the Broke and Beautiful Trilogy
College drop-out Roxy Cumberland moved to New York with dreams of becoming an actress, but her dwindling bank account is quickly putting the kibosh on that fantasy.
To make some quick cash, she signs up to perform singing telegrams. Her first customer is a gorgeous, cocky Manhattan trust-funder if she ever laid eyes on one. And what could be more humiliating than singing an ode to his junk, courtesy of his recent one night stand? Maybe the fact that she's dressed in a giant pink bunny costume...
After a night out to celebrate winning his last case, lawyer Louis McNally II isn't prepared for the pounding in his head or the rabbit serenading him from the front door. But the sassy wit and sexy voice of the girl behind the mask intrigue him, and one look at her stunning face--followed by a mind-blowing kiss against his doorjamb--leaves Louis wanting more.
Roxy doesn't need a spoiled rich guy who's had everything in life handed to him on a Tiffany platter. But there's more to Louis than his sexy surface and he's determined to make Roxy see it...even if it means chasing her all over NYC.
Need Me
by Tessa Bailey
Published by Avon
Book 2 in the Broke and Beautiful Trilogy
When Honey Perribow traded in her cowboy boots for stilettos and left her small Kentucky town to attend Columbia University, she never expected to find a dirt-cheap apartment or two new best friends.
No stranger to hard work, Honey's sole focus is a medical degree... until she sees newly-minted Professor, Ben Dawson, and her concentration is hijacked. Honey is fascinated by her gorgeous, young English professor and vows to find a crack his tweed-wearing, glasses-clad exterior.
While at an off campus party, an accident lands Ben in a dark, locked closet with a sexy-sounding southern belle...and their chemistry is explosive. But when he discovers that the girl in his arms is the same beautiful college student he can't stop thinking about, he is stunned. Yet no matter how hard he tries, Ben can't stay away from Honey.
And when his attempts to fight their attraction nearly ruin the best thing that ever happened to him, Ben will do anything to prove how much he needs her.
Make Me
by Tessa Bailey
Published by Avon
Book 3 in the Broke and Beautiful Trilogy
Construction worker Russell Hart has been head-over-work boots for Abby Sullivan since the moment he laid eyes on her.
But he knows a classy, uptown virgin like her could never be truly happy with a rough, blue-collar guy like him.
If only she'd stop treating him like her personal hero--a role he craves more than oxygen--maybe he could accept it.
With the future of her family's company on her shoulders, Abby barely has time to sleep, let alone find love. And her best friend Russell acting like a sexy, overprotective hulk any time their Super Group goes out in public definitely isn't helping her single status. But after a near-tragedy lands Russell in her bed for the night, Abby's suddenly fantasizing about what he looks like shirtless. Chest hair and tattoos--who knew?
As Russell struggles to keep Abby at a safe distance, she begins to see through his tough-talking exterior--and acknowledge her own feelings. Now she's ready to turn the friend-zone into foreplay...and make him lose control.
Genre
Triggers
Struggling with finances, and housing security, attempted sexual assault, and relationship between professor and student
Yes, I'm combining all three books into one review.
Not for the same reasons I did Jewel E. Ann's Life series, but because, honestly, these novels are short. A little over 200 pages each.
With such short books, I don't have a huge amount of things to say about them.
They were okay.
I liked them.
They didn't really scratch my Tessa Bailey itch, though.
It all had to do with the length of them.
Because they are all so short, they are really insta-love type books. No real tension.
Chase Me was cute. I loved Roxy and Louis's meet-cute. I mean, I totally feel like only Tessa Bailey can conjure up a scene where a woman is sent as a singing telegram dressed as a bunny, to see an ode to a man's penis from his one night stand. The whole thing had me smiling ear to ear.
The banter was great.
I just wish it had a little more tension. The humor was great, though, and the story felt relatable.
I enjoyed Need Me. Despite how problematic I find it in real life, I actually love the who professor/student trope. Again, like in Chase me, there wasn't very much angst. It was instant attraction, and not a whole lot of will they/won't they tension that I like in this type of romance. But the thing I really hated was that Ben seemed to blame Honey for him being attracted to her.
I hate that.
But I did love that his attraction to her started before he even noticed her. He fell in love with her words, her writing, without laying eyes on her.
I was excited for Make Me because I love a good friends to lovers, where he falls first. I enjoyed it for the most part, but I was left incredibly frustrated by Russell. He put Abby on a pedestal and deemed himself unworthy because of how little money he had in his account compared to her.
Points are given that he didn't demean her, or make her feel like she had to give that up for him. That he wanted to make himself successful to feel worthy enough for her.
But so fucking frustrating, because that is not what she wanted and needed.
She wanted him, plain and simple. Money should have never been a part of the reasoning as to why they couldn't be together.
The Broke and Beautiful series isn't going to blow you away. It's simple. Short and sweet. But for the Tessa Bailey fan, you will like it.
Sixty bucks might not sound like much, but when your roommate has just booted you out onto your ass for failure to come through on rent - again - leaving you no place to live, and your checking account is gasping for oxygen, pink bunnies do what pink bunnies must. At least her round, fluffy tail would cushion her fall when her ass hit the sidewalk.
See? She'd already found a silver lining. Maybe the shitstorm would hold.
He dragged a hand through his unkempt black hair.
Louis: "Am I still drunk, or are you dressed like a rabbit?"
His voice was rough rough from sleep. Probably not his usual voice. That had to be the reason her tummy did a backflip.
Roxy: "I'm dressed like a rabbit."
Louis: "Okay."
He tilted his head.
Louis: "Should I be drunk for this?"
Roxy: "If anyone should be drunk for this, it's me."
Louis: "You sound cute."
He squinted at her, as if attempting to see through the plastic mask.
Louis: "You cute under there, bunny?"
Roxy: "Being that your one-night stand from last night sent me here to sing for you, I don't know if that matters,"
she answered sweetly.
Louis: "Cute girls trump all."
Make every performance count. Channeling Liza Minnelli, she cocked one hip and raised the opposite hand.
To my hot shot honey bunny
Last night we went places and had some fun-ny
You brought me home and we skipped the small talk
Now I'm daydreaming about your perfect -
Louis: "Stop."
Louis shook his head slowly.
Lous: "Jesus, please, make it stop."
Roxy let her hand drop to her side.
Roxy: "You better be complaining about the lyrics and not my singing."
Louis: "Hold up. Can you just wait here a second? I should give you a tip."
As he fumbled in his jeans pocket, Roxy smirked.
Roxy: "Which tip are we referring to here? I did just sing an ode to your penis."
Louis: "Please don't remind me."
Russell groaned.
Russell: "Leave it to you to get stuck on logistics, Ben. Louis made out with a rabbit. Just appreciate that for what it is."
Louis: "It wasn't a make-out,"
Louis lamented.
Louis: "It was like a ... ha ha you wish this was a make-out, dickhead."
Russell: "Bring her home to Mom. She's a keeper."
Ben: "This is easily solvable. Ask the girl who sent you the telegram which agency she used. There can't be that many. I didn't even know singing telegrams were still a thing."
Russell: "Yeah, how's that conversation going to go?"
Russell laughed.
Russell: "Oh, I know. 'Hey, girl who wrote a song about my dick? I'd like to introduce that dick to another girl. Show a dude some love?'"
Russell: "I'm all bunny ears."
Louis: "Funny you should say that."
Louis lowered his voice.
Louis: "After she left, I started, you know, thinking about her in that bunny costume. Getting her out of it, mostly. I couldn't stop thinking about it, actually. And I might have -"
Russell: "You didn't."
Ben: "Oh, God. You went on the Internet."
Louis squeezed his eyes shut.
Louis: :So much bad porn, guys. People with cotton tails. Carrots going places they should never, ever go. I'm pretty sure I'll die with these images tattooed on my brain."
Russell: "Happens to the best of us."
Russell leaned forward.
Russell: "All you need is a good porn cleanse. Replace the bad with good. Do it soon, though. Bad porn festers if left out too long."
Russell: "Tell her you thought it was an amazing gift and want to send one to your mom."
Louis: "To my mom. In the south of France."
Russell: "She doesn't know your mother's geographical location."
Russell set his empty pint glass down with a thunk.
Russell: "Come on, man. Desperate times. Save the bunny, save the world."
Louis: "You're a jackass."
Louis signaled the waitress for another round.
Louis: "And speaking of your donkey brethren, I'm a little too well acquainted with them after I clicked the wrong link this afternoon."
Ben and Russell shivered.
One Bedroom available in a three-bedroom apartment. Chelsea. Girls only, please. I'm not sexist or anything. It's just that I don't want to be self-conscience in my own apartment. You know? If you're a man and still reading this ad, it's nothing personal. I just want to hang my bra in the shower without worrying about you judging my cup size. I'm a 32B, so I pad liberally. Well. This has all been very therapeutic. I'm taking applications for the next hour. My address is 110 Ninth Avenue, Apartment 4D. $200/month.
Roxy zigzagged between a crew of delivery men unloading crates from a truck, then leapt over a poodle doing its business. Beside her, pink bandana huffed and puffed.
Pink Bandana: "It's probably already gone by now. We'll never make it."
Roxy: "Speak for yourself."
With that, Roxy hip-checked her competitor into a group of bushes.
Roxy: "Nothing personal."
Pink Bandana: "Bitch!"
Roxy: "The first order of business might be to delete the ad. Before the police arrive in riot gear."
Abby: "I already did that,"
CP burst out.
Abby: "It was only up for five minutes. They just keep coming."
Roxy strode toward the window, winking at the polished brunette as she passed.
Roxy: "Let me take care of that for you."
She yanked open the window and stuck her head out. Christ, it looked like an episode of The Walking Dead out there. Accurately enough, she had a feeling some of them would chew off another person's arm for a chance at the ridiculously low rent.
Roxy: "Hey,"
she shouted.
Roxy: "You weren't fast enough shitheads. Room's gone. Beat it,."
She closed the window on a chorus of B-words screeched in her honor. Honestly, if one more person called her a bitch today, she might take it to heart. Maybe, but not likely.
The door swung open. For one brief, shining moment, his gaze locked with hers. The girl he'd been dreaming out. The girl who had exiled him to the land of disturbing Internet porn.
Roxy: "I'm not going back out there dressed like a fucking statue. They're not going to laugh when they see what these jeans do for my ass, now, are they?"
Louise: "No."
Don't look. Don't look.
Louise: "I seriously doubt it."
Roxy: "You have twenty seconds to tell me why I rode the subway dressed like an asshole."
Louise: "Right."
Jesus, man. Eyes up. Focus. You've seen a hot girl before.
Louise: "Not this hot."
Roxy: "What?"
Louise: "Did I just say that out loud?"
Louise: "What are you doing?"
Roxy: "Giving you back your shirt."
He shook his head vigorously.
Louise: "Keep it."
She pointed at the trench coat resting on top of her purse.
Roxy: "I have my coat. I'll be fine."
Louise: "Yeah, but in order for this transfer of clothing to take place, I'll still have to see you in that cheerleader uniform. And I do not want to be turned on by it."
The corner of her mouth tugged.
Roxy: "You don't want to be. But you are?"
Louise: "To an appalling degree."
Louise: "Fair warning, Rox. If you wrap the other leg around me, I'm taking you home to my bed, where I can get you off properly."
His hand flexed.
Louise: "If that's what you want, hop on up. Otherwise ..."
Roxy: "Don't wrap my legs around you?"
she panted.
He grazed her lips with his.
Louise: "I couldn't say it out loud. It's too sad."
In the way out the door, he turned and looked back at Abby.
Louise: "I'm happy with the nine, but just out of curiosity, what did you deduct the point for?"
She winced.
Abby: "Don't make me say it in front of you."
Honey: "Say it,"
Honey commanded, her head partially inside the oven.
Abby: "You didn't even shave."
He ran his free hand over his jaw.
Louis: "I did this morning. It kind of grew back."
Abby: "Well."
Abby folded her hands in front of her, looking slightly embarrassed.
Abby: "Next time, then."
Russell: 'A girl who wears the dress on date one either has a blood vendetta against your family that you're not aware of."
He ticked off his fingers.
Russell: "Or she has more than one dress. I don't even want to imagine what she'd have in store for date number two."
Louis: "I do."
Louis nodded vigorously.
Louis: "I want to know."
Russell: "No,"
Russell insisted, slamming his beer down.
Russell: "You don't. Look at you, man. You didn't even shave this morning. And is that? A Hawaiian shirt?"
Louis: "It's laundry day,"
Louis mumbled.
Louis: "Have I mentioned what a fucking windfall our friendship has been for me?"
Russell: "You'll get around to it."
Roxy: "Listen, this is probably the last thing you want to hear, but my roommates ... they've synched up."
A short pause.
Louise: "You mean their periods?"
Roxy: "Yeah."
She laughed.
Roxy: "You get a gold star for saying that without an accompanying gagging sound."
Louis: "Twin sisters,"
he reminded her grimly.
Louis: "Why do they need you there?"
Roxy: "I'm afraid they might main the Chinese food delivery man with a remote control."
Louis: "Okay, this is a way better greeting than the one I got this morning, but you still haven't kissed me yet. I'm here ti charm your crabby roommates. It's the least you could do."
Roxy: "You haven't soothed the savage beasts yet."
She dodged his mouth, even though she wanted to faint in his arms and bed to be ravaged like in a black-and-white movie.
Roxy: "kisses must be delivered only after the work is completed. You're a lawyer. You understand."
Louis: "I could argue that a down payment wouldn't be remiss."
Roxy: "Stop. No legal talk. I've only recently discovered my weakness for it."
Honey: "Oh, are you done mauling our roommate?"
Honey asked, waving half an egg roll at him.
Louis: "Not even close,"
Louis answered, not missing a beat.
Honey: "What else you got in that bag, Mary Poppins?"
Roxy's curiosity got the best of her, so she hopped up on one of the kitchen stools and reached into the bag.
Roxy: "Three ... no, four Snickers bars. A bottle of wine. Tylenol. People magazine."
She peered further into the bag.
Roxy: "And Bridesmaids on DVD."
Abby reached out for the bag.
Abby: "You may continue mauling our roommate now."
Honey: "It would appear I can be bought, too,"
Honey sighed.
Louis: "Okay, I'm starting to catch up now. You think there is an orgy in my apartment because I'm sweaty."
She elbowed him in the ribs, but he held on tight.
Roxy: "You looked guilty when you opened the door. Which is stupid because I'm not your girlfriend. But it turns out I'm also not kosher with being second in the batting order."
Louis: "Oh, sure. Make a baseball reference and get even cuter than you already are."
Roxy: "You were -"
The elevator came to a stop. A man climbed in wearing a business suit.
Louis: "Don't say it,"
Louis warned against her neck.
Her lips twitched.
Roxy: "Self-lovin'? Polishing the family jewels?"
A discreet cough behind them sent Roxy into a laughing fit. She tried to keep silent, but as soon as the suited man climbed off on the floor beneath Louis's, she doubled over and gave in to the urge. Louis punched the button for his floor and shoved his hands into his pockets.
Louis: "I'm glad you think it's funny. I didn't quite ... polish the jewels ... as much as I needed to. The situation is not under control."
His terse tone almost set her off again, but he looked so uncomfortable that she found a way to contain herself.
Roxy: "Do you want me to wait outside while you finish?"
Roxy: "What were you thinking about?"
She reached behind him and pushed the apartment door shut, letting their bodies glide together. Letting her mouth drag slowly, slowly against his neck.
Roxy: "When you were ... polishing."
Louis: "I can't say."
He spoke through gritted teeth.
Louis: "A man's spank bank is sacred."
Roxy: "Is that so?"
Roxy trailed a finger down the center of his stomach, tucking it just beneath the waistband of his jeans.
Roxy: "I might be willing to help if you tell me."
The back of his head hits the door.
Louis: "Somebody up there either hates me or loves me."
Roxy: "Here's my nightmare. You making some tired joke while opening a bottle of merlot. Us both drinking a glass, pretending like we care what the other person is saying when really we're just killing time until the main event. You making some practiced move in order to kiss me. Cut to five minutes later, we're doing it in the missionary position."
Louis frowned.
Louis: "Would you prefer a cabernet?"
A laugh escaped, sounding more like a groan.
Roxy: "That better be a joke."
Louis: "I don't drink wine, I don't need an excuse or some lame-ass move to kiss you."
He shucked her shoes, ripped her jeans down her legs, and tossed them over his shoulder in one movement.
Louis: "And, baby, I'd still get you off screaming in the missionary position."
Louis: "You don't like plans or traditional shit. I get that."
He pushed her legs wide and licked, long and slow, down the inside of her right thigh.
Louis: "But I do like plans. I've been planning all week on going down on you. So lay back and deal with it."
Lena: "What up, bro ham? I hope you brought your appetite. Or an extra fire extinguisher."
He skirted past her into the apartment.
Louis: "What did you set on fire?"
Lena: "Ketchup."
Roxy: "McNally, I really need you to open the door."
Louis: "Go away, voice. I already ate the Elvis Cheeto."
A long stretch of silence passed. Louis jerked into a sitting position. Maybe he didn't want the voice to leave. Maybe he wanted it to stay. Oh yeah. Definitely, stay.
Louis: "Are you still there?"
he called.
Roxy: "Yes. Although now I'm nervous about what I'm going to find in there."
Louis looked around the apartment, feeling as though he was seeing it for the first time. Food containers, beer bottles, clothes that apparently hadn't made it to the hamper were strewn about his living room. Perfect. On top of ruining people's lives, he was also a slob.
Louis: "You should be nervous. It's not pretty in here."
Roxy: "That's okay. I'm not a judgmental rabbit."
Roxy: "Did you lose your indoor voice in that pile of underpants?"
Honey: "What color would you wear if you wanted to seduce your English teacher?"
The toast paused halfway to Roxy's mouth. Roxy: "Aw, shit. Today is the day?"
Honey took a deep breath and nodded.
Honey: "I've finally worked up the nerve. No more hiding under my hoodie in the back row. Professor Dawson is going down to Honey town?"
Roxy: "How long have you been waiting to say that?"
Honey: "A while. How was my delivery?"
Roxy: "Not too shabby."
Honey hid her swoon by turning and pressing her face into the rug.
Honey: "He has this tweed jacket. It's like a greenish-brown, which should be ugly, but it looks so dang amazing on him. If I got up close, I bet it would smell like honest-to-goodness man mixed up with old book leather. He keeps candy in the pockets, too. I can't tell from the back of the room which kind of candy he always pops into his mouth, but if I had to guess, I'd say butterscotch. So the jacket might have a hint of butterscotch smell going on, too."
Roxy: "Are you telling me tweed inspired all that?"
Roxy: "If you rub your thighs together any harder,"
Roxy broke into her thoughts,
Roxy: "This pile of panties is going to turn into a bonfire."
Honey: "Sorry."
Honey pushed some unbrushed blond hair out of her face.
Honey: "Let's focus on the matter at hand."
Abby, their third roommate, breezed into the room.
Abby: "What are we focusing on?"
Roxy: "I was focusing. She was fantasizing about tweed."
Roxy: "Look, you're not going to flash him your panties in class. That's not your style. Worry about the top layer first, drag him back to your cave later. Worry about the panties then."
Louis: "Exactly how much beer do you need to consume before you tell us how you, Mr. Rule Follower, ended up with your hands up a student's skirt?"
He abandoned his quest to get a decent grip on the pitcher and slapped both hands over his face instead.
Ben: "Please, for the love of God, don't say things like 'hands' and 'skirt' and 'student.' Not out loud."
Louis looked amused.
Louis: "You want us to come up with some kind of code?"
Ben: "Yes."
Ben pushed up his glasses, but they slipped down again almost immediately.
Ben: "That should have been obvious."
Russell threw an arm over the back of his seat, shit-eating grin firmly in place.
Russell: "All right, Professor. How did you end up with your jackhammer so close to an off-limits coconut?"
Now Ben knew he needed to stop drinking, because in his drunken state, that nonsense actually sounded vastly better.
Ben: "How did this happen? You've been dating Roxy for a month and we've never met her friends? This could have been avoided."
Louis: "Sorry, Ben. I've been kind of busy in my attempt to ruin her for other men."
Louis sipped his beer.
Ben: "The party on Friday night was supposed to be the meshing of two super groups. You kind of fucked that up by trying to jackhammer the coconut, man."
Ben: "Does it still hurt?"
He grated the question at her lips.
Ben: "Tell me it still hurts so I can lick it better."
Roxy: "So, Professor Ben, huh? Please tell me he slapped your ass with a yardstick."
Honey: "Well it wasn't a full yard ..."
Honey coughed into her fist.
Honey: "But it was impressive. It reminded me of that scene in A Few Good Men where Jack Nicholson yells, 'You can't handle the truth' at Tom Cruise. Except Ben was Jack Nicholson and my vagina was Tom Cruise."
Abby: "Russell is in my room killing a spider."
She switched feet, massaging the left with relish.
Abby: "It went under my bed, and unless he finds and kills it, we're moving."
Honey: "Obviously."
Elmer: "Well, I'd heard rumors, but I didn't believe them,"
he shouted across the bar.
Elmer: "Honey Perribow is in our midst."
She saluted her Coke, feeling like she'd slipped back into her old skin.
Honey: "They let me back into the state against their better judgement."
Ben: "I can only tell you what I'd like you to say, Honey. That I'm your boyfriend who couldn't last a full week without you. The second half is already true. We're just working on the first half."
Honey: "'Easy' isn't the word I would use."
She encompassed her body with a circular hand gesture.
Honey: "This here is Fort Knox. Especially with my father around. Unless you want to go back to New York minus testicles."
Ben: "It's not on my top ten list."
Ben: "Who was Elmer to you, Honey? Please note that I'm speaking in the past tense."
Honey: "My high school sweetheart."
She pursed her lips.
Honey: "You jealous of ol' Elmer, Ben?"
Ben: "'Jealous' is too common a word. His existence is a threat to my sanity."
Ben: "Hey. Think of all the stories you could make up if I turn out to be an asshole. He joined a commune. He got eaten by a shark. That's years of entertainment."
The porch light illuminated her smile. Honey: "He runs a support group for ex-Elvis impersonators."
Ben: "Your mind is wasted on science."
Honey: "Well, now, Mama. This is Ben. He's ..."
She stood up straighter. And proceeded to talk in what sounded like a new, undiscovered language.
Honey: "The thing is, he's kind of my boyfriend and we're having a fight right now but he stuck his butt on a plane to come down and see me anyway. It was foolish and impulsive but here he is and I suspect he's probably hungry so can you make him a sandwich? Not one of your good ones, because like I said, we're fighting. But we can't just let him starve is all."
An older man in a trucker hat appeared at the door.
Mr. Perribow: "Who's that?"
Mrs. Perribow: "Her boyfriend,"
Honey's mother said without skipping a beat.
Mrs. Perribow: "They're fighting, but it's not bad enough to let him starve on the porch."
Ben: "Nice to meet you both. I'm Ben. Dawson. Ben Dawson. It's my fault we're fighting, sir. I brought another woman to pur super group merger because I wanted Honey to realize I wasn't worth her time. But when she did actually realize it, I found out what it feels like to be without her."
He chanced a look at Honey, but she only looked baffled.
Ben: "It's awful. Without her. So I'm here to become worth her time again."
Honey's mother sank against the doorframe.
Mr. Perribow: "You talk like a Kennedy."
Her father ran a hand over his beard.
Mr. Perribow: "You a Democrat?"
Honey: "Okay and we're moving on."
Mrs. Perribow: "And don't look now, but I think he's found a way to end your fight."
Honey scowled at him, even though he was concentrating and not looking at her.
Honey: 'By being shirtless, useful, and ... and way more muscular than I'd originally thought?"
Mrs. Perribow: "Effective, ain't it?"
Honey: "Ben Dawson."
She came to a stop, crossed her arms, and cocked a hip.
Honey: "You can't just go around sneaking into people's rooms and turning off their alarm clocks."
Ben: "Honey Perribow."
He ran a hand through his sweaty hair, leaving it slicked back. Damn.
Ben: "You're lucky your mother is watching us from the kitchen window, or I'd kiss that suck right off your face."
Ben: "You were talking in your sleep this morning when I went in to turn off your alarm."
Oh God.
Honey: "What was I saying?"
Ben: "You must have known I was there."
His attention dropped to the hem of her shorts.
Ben: "You told me I'd ... made it hurt again. You also mentioned something about tweed. I didn't get the correlation."
Honey: "Well."
She pressed her hands to her cheeks.
Honey: "Never you mind."
Ben: "Listen to me."
He waited for her nod.
Ben: "You're going to take me somewhere now where I can see you without your panties on. I'm going to get you off good and hard, maybe a few times. And then, Honey, we're going to talk."
He bucked hip hips into her twice.
Ben: "But first, I'm going to fuck you so dirty, you won't be able to look anyone but me in the eye afterward."
Ben: "Ms. Perribow, you've been squirming around in your seat for my entire lecture. In that ridiculous piece of fabric you refer to as a skirt. Is it your life's intention to distract me?"
Mrs. Perribow: "I should hate Ben for making my daughter cry. Yes, I should. But I just can't, and I hope that doesn't make me a bad mother."
She shook her head.
Mrs. Perribow: "I just remember the way he looked at you, and I can't bring myself to hate someone who sees exactly what's there. Like he wouldn't change a single thing about you if he could."
Day one hundred and forty-two of being friend-zoned. Send rations.
Russell: "You were put on this earth to make me crazy, Abby. You know that?"
Abby: "I'm not sorry about it. Does that make me a bad person?"
Russell: "No. That makes you a woman."
She muffled her laugh with the use of Russell's shoulder.
Abby: "Men make women crazy, too. It's not a one-sided affair."
Abby: "I have a feeling you won't let me forget."
Russell: "I don't like that you think I'm always mad at you, Abby. That makes me feel like a dick."
She yawned again, tipping to the side.
Abby: "Yes, but you're my dick."
Abby: "I don't care if you smell, but if you want to take a quick shower, there are extra towels in the hall closet. Don't use the purple one, though."
Russell: "Why not?"
Abby: "Louis's birthday gift from Roxy is rolled inside it. You don't want to know."
Russell: "I assure you, I want to know."
Her eyes twinkled, and he experienced some serious relief at seeing something besides fatigue on her.
Abby: "Edible underwear. For him to wear, not Roxy."
Russell executed an overhead fist pump.
Russell: "All the worry you put me through today just became marginally worth it, Abby."
Ah, Jesus. Abby holding a power tool. His two favorite things in one. Code fucking red.
Russell tipped his head back and breathed through his nose.
Russell: "I am not my dick. My dick does not make decisions for me."
Russell: "I friend-zoned Abby,"
Russell said, tight-lipped.
Roxy gave a decisive headshake.
Roxy: "You can't friend-zone the friend zoner."
Honey: "Abby could care less about money, Russell,"
Honey pointed out.
Russell: "That's easy to say when you have it."
Russell ignored Ben's and Louis's frantic slashing motions in front of their necks.
Russell: "And it's different for a man -"
Roxy and Honey threw up their hands, tossing curses on the ceiling.
Honey: "He didn't,"
Honey groaned.
Honey: "He didn't just say that."
Louis: "Your grave is so fucking deep, man, you can see China."
Louis muttered, shaking his head.
Louis: "Stop fucking digging. You're dragging us in with you."
Abby: "I don't need you to give me a comfortable life. I can do that for myself. What I needed was someone to love. Someone to love me back. What would have mattered beyond that?"
Roxy: "I can't imagine you two apart. You're ... Russell and Abby. Rabby."
Abby: "That nickname never would have happened. Roxy: "Says you."
#agegap #alpha #rich #forbiddenlove #fishoutofwater #friendstolovers #girlnextdoor #grumpy #loveatfirstsight #oppositesattract #playboy #professor #virgin #wallflower #wild #wrongside