My Fake Christmas Fiance
by Julie Kriss
Book 1 in the Kane Christmas series
Dear Wesley Kane,
We are not getting married. I know we had to get engaged as part of our companies’ merger plans, but a fake engagement is all I’ll agree to. For business purposes. We are never, ever getting married.
We have nothing in common. I’m the nerdy do-gooder girl with glasses and you’re the playboy with a new woman on his arm every week. I’m not your type, and you’re not mine.
Okay, so you’re incredibly gorgeous. And funny. And you keep giving me That Look. And you’ve ditched all your other girlfriends for me. And I’ve seen you in nothing but your boxer shorts, and I’m still thinking about it. Because…wow.
We have to be married by midnight Christmas Eve, and the deadline is getting closer. It doesn’t matter if you might be my dream guy. It doesn’t matter if I’m falling for you—it’s just a business deal.
We are never, ever—
Oh God, I just kissed you again.
My Fake Christmas Fiancé is the first book in a collaborated series, and is written by Julie Kriss. When two Christmas decoration companies decide to merge into one, the fathers of Wesley and Penny weave into the contract that in order for the merger to go through, Wesley and Penny will need to be married by Christmas of the following year - and they both sign it, thinking they can get out of it. Only as time goes on, it becomes clear that it won't be so easy to get out of. And they may not want to by the end of the year.
I'm about to be mean ... but I fucking hated this book. Thank the universe it's only a novella, because holy shit it was painful to read. I'm kind of scratching my head at the rating on Goodreads. Over 4 stars for this ... boring, predictable, slightly ridiculous story. I read reviews before reading it, and they all said, once you get past the emails (because, of course the first chapter is just a series of emails they send to each other over the months), its good. I was banking on that, because I hated those emails. The author was trying to go for the uptight female and snarky, charismatic male, but all I got was juvenile and cliché. I wanted to DNF it so bad ... but I powered through. It was a little too much. The fathers storylines were too convenient and easy, there was BARELY any interaction between Penny and Wesley before they are professing love. There were a lot of typos. And it makes me not want to finish the books - despite being written by other authors.
I don't recommend this book. I wish I could bring myself to apologize for being a bit of a bitch in this review, but I kind of want an apology for having wasted my time on this.
I liked that he decorated his office just as a giant fuck you to his dad
Wesley: “Are you okay? You’re awfully quiet.”
Penny: “I’m fine. I’m just, you know, fertile.”
His brows furrowed, as if he hadn’t heard me correctly.
Penny: “I think it’s futile,”
I said loudly to cover up my gaffe.
Penny: “I mean, it’s futile for me to be so mad at myself that I forgot a coat. Right?”
Wesley: “Sure it is,” W.B: “If you don’t mind,”
W.B. said, oblivious to the lasers I was glaring at him from my eyes,
W.B: “I’d like to sit down with you at some point and show you some of my spreadsheets.”
Penny: “I’m very interested in your spreadsheets,” Wesley: “I love watching you do that. I want to watch you do it every day.”
Penny: “I can’t handle that,”
Wesley: “Every other day, then.”
Was he serious? I could make a schedule if he wanted one. It was my superpower.
Wesley: “Okay.” Wesley: "We already got married, but will you stay married to me forever?”
She gasped. Actually gasped. The moment hung in the balance, and I tried not to smile.
Penny: “You love me?”
Wesley: “I do. I know it’s fast and crazy, but I felt it from the first. I think you’re my penguin. Or my swan. Whatever that animal is that mates for life. Maybe dolphins.”
Penny: “I think dolphins are sluts.”
Wesley: “Okay, definitely not dolphins then. Will you stay married to me?”
She took a deep breath and nodded.
Penny: “Yes, I will. Because you’re my penguin, too, or whatever."