Dirty Like Zane
by Jaine Diamond
Book 6 in the Dirty Series
Zane and Maggie have a secret;
one that could cost them everything.
A crazy night in Vegas almost two years ago, and Zane Traynor and Maggie Omura are still dealing with the hangover.
Because now they’re husband and wife.
She refuses to let him in. He refuses to let her go.
And neither of them is willing to walk away.
Both of them keep holding onto this screwed-up thing so stubbornly and so tightly, it’s bound to break.
And yet, it can’t break. Not in the middle of a world tour.
As assistant manager of Zane’s mega-famous rock band, Dirty, Maggie is determined to keep things professional—and keep away from Zane on the road.
She can’t afford to jeopardize the job she loves, even for a hot-as-hell rock star.
Which means she can never let herself fall for her “husband”… or end up in his bed.
Except that she already has… on both counts.
And Zane’s hellbent on getting her there again.
Unfortunately for Maggie, Zane Traynor is never gonna give up on what he wants.
And what he wants is his wife.
Dirty Like Zane is the sixth, and final book in the Dirty series, and centers around Zane, Dirty's singer, and Maggie, Dirty's assistant manager. Almost two years ago, Zane and Maggie got married in Vegas. They are not together, but its definitely complicated. Neither will let each other go. Zane is determined to make Maggie his wife - for real - on the world tour, where she can't avoid him, and Maggie refuses to let him in, because the trust isn't there. Their complicated feelings for each other - and themselves - don't keep them from succumbing to each other every now and then. Maggie has given up on Zane being the husband she wants, but there is no way Zane is giving up on the only woman he has ever loved.
You know, for the final book in the series, and a much anticipated one at that, you think I would have enjoyed this more. I liked it ... but it is not my favorite of the series. I did love Zane's character. He knew what he wanted, and he went for it. And in a moment of weakness, Seth has a heart to heart with him that has Zane making changes he needs to make, not just for Maggie, but for himself. And I appreciated Maggie's character, for knowing she what she deserves, and not settling for less, even if she wants to. What I hated was how Maggie and Zane treated each other. Okay ... mostly, how Maggie treated Zane. God, he isn't perfect, but Maggie crossed the line of mean too many times. And the first 50% of the book felt like a copy, paste and repeat of Zane seducing Maggie in hopes she will want to be with him, and her being a bitch. Too long was focused on the dysfunctional aspects of their relationship. Readers who have read the series, already knew this stuff.
While it wasn't my favorite of the series, I do think Zane and Maggie's story was best left off to the end. And it doesn't change the fact that the Dirty series, for the most part, is pretty great, and Jaine Diamond is a wonderful writer. But I will still take some time before I start the spin off series (the first book centers around Ashley Player). I'm still bitter about how everything went down in Dylan's book, and I'm worried Ashley is still going to have a rough time of it. But one of these days I will go back to it.
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Seth gave my shoulder a little shove.
Seth: “You probably wanna reel it in, before she slips in it.”
Seth: “Your tongue. You’re drooling all over the floor.” I really needed to stop looking at his texts. But every time my phone pinged, I looked.
Zane: you make everything better
Zane: cloudy day
Zane: something about the month of May?
Oh, sweet Jesus. He was serenading me with “My Girl” over text.
Maggie: Don’t get cheesy.
Zane: Motown, baby
Zane: it’s a classic I wanted to be Maggie Omura’s husband like I wanted to be Dirty’s lead singer. I had to be. Zane: “Just say the word, Maggie.”
I dropped my hand to my swollen dick, adjusting myself a little. My jeans were getting way too tight.
Zane: “You want this all to yourself? You can have it.”
Her eyes drifted down to my lap… And when they met mine again, they had that look in them that always did me the fuck in. Lust. Maggie, getting hot, made my brain shut off and my cock take over. I squeezed myself, just trying to ease some of the pressure. Felt better and worse at the same time. She swallowed.
Maggie: “What word?”
Zane: “Mine. All you have to say is That cock is mine, Zane. And it’s all yours.”
I leaned in close, until my lips brushed the soft curve of her ear.
Zane: “You want this mouth…?”
I drifted the tip of my tongue over her earlobe, even as she stiffened.
Zane: “It’s yours, Maggie.”
I was never gonna give up on what I wanted. And what I wanted was my wife. Zane: please take down your wall
I kept checking my phone and staring at his last text, long into the night. I started to reply, a few times, then deleted whatever angry bullshit I’d written. Eventually I let down my wall, just a bit, and wrote back.
Maggie: Please don’t ever drink again. Please don’t smoke pot anymore. Please don’t sleep with other women. Please just stop.
His response came in moments later.
Zane: please be my wife I’m never gonna apologize for loving you. Zane. Maggie: “Condom. We need a condom.”
Zane: “Don’t have one.”
Zane: “You have one?”
Maggie: “Why would I have a condom on the Lady Bus?”
Zane: “Why wouldn’t you?”
Maggie: “Because. If I didn’t bring any on tour, I couldn’t fuck you.”
I burst out laughing. I couldn’t help it.
Zane: “That was your plan?”
Maggie: “Shut up. Don’t laugh at me while you’re fucking me.”
I reached down under her thigh and hiked it up, spreading her legs wider and holding her there, pinned, as I drove into her.
Zane: “You’re right. It’s a great plan, Maggs. Really effective.” Zane: “How are you not cold?”
Seth: “Mind over matter,”
Zane: “The fuck does that mean? Your body temperature is gonna drop. You gonna imagine that away?”
Seth: “Eventually, I’ll get too cold and I’ll have to get up, get back in the car. But for now, you need to be here, I need to be here for you, so I can put off feeling cold.”
Zane: “Yeah? You gonna mind-over-matter the scorpions away, too?”
Seth: “Yup.” Seth: "Everyone’s got their own path to sobriety. You got a road to walk that’s yours alone. For a lot of alcoholics, AA works. Belief in a higher power works. I’m not offering solutions and I’m not telling you what to do. I’m telling you what works for me, because you asked. I’m your friend, and I’m a friend who’s walking a similar road. So I’m here to listen, to talk, to share, to support, or whatever it is you want me to do short of lying to you, supporting your addiction and getting you booze. And I’m not gonna blow sunshine up your ass, placate you or sugarcoat this shit, either. I brought you to an alcohol-free environment so you could get your shit straight with a clear head, if that’s what you want to do.”
Zane: “What, right now?”
Seth: “You got a better time in mind? A better place?”
I looked around at the desert like we were on the surface of the fucking moon.
Zane: “It’s not like I can do this shit in one night.”
Seth: “It doesn’t happen in one night. It happens in one moment.”
I looked at Seth, but it was too dark to see his eyes under the brim of his hat or the expression on his face.
Seth: “And in every single moment there is, it happens over and over again. All you really need is one moment.”
I ran my hand through my hair. Christ, but I wanted a toke. Did I really have to listen to this shit?
Zane: “Just one, huh?”
Seth: “What else have you got? The past is done. The future is uncertain. All you’ve got is this one moment, right now. You’re alive and sober, right now. What are you gonna do with this moment?” Zane: “So that’s it? Everyone else in this band gets the woman of their fucking dreams, huh? Everyone else gets to smoke up, but I can’t, right?”
Seth: “Yeah, and this is the part where you feel sorry for yourself.”
Seth sat up, spinning his hat around backwards so I could see his face. He threw his arms on his knees and looked up at me, meeting my eyes.
Seth: “Throw yourself your fucking pity party, Zane, pile on the excuses to go have a drink. But nothing’s gonna change the fact that yeah, most of your friends probably can smoke up, and no, you can’t. You see me smoking up? It’s different for us, and you know this. Other people can have a beer, smoke a joint and have a good time, get up and go on with their lives intact the next day. It’s not like that for you and me, and it never was. That shit is poison for us. How many times can you smoke weed before you slip and decide a beer is okay? Once? A thousand times? I don’t know the answer to that, and neither do you. But you and I both know, you will slip. And once you take that first sip, you’ve fucked away your choice about it. That shit gets in your body, and you don’t get to choose anymore if you take the next sip or the next. It’s over. You want to flush your life down the toilet like that? You want to die?”
Zane: “No. Obviously I don’t want to fucking die.”
Seth: “Good to know. You gonna drink?”
I knew what he was doing. I’d been through this same conversation, more or less, with Rudy, about a thousand times.
Zane: “Don’t be an asshole. Do you see a fucking roadhouse out here?”
Seth: “Yeah. I’m an asshole. Everyone is an asshole, and you’re the king of the assholes, right? You got it all figured out and then some. That’s why you’re standing in the middle of some desert right now, fucking lost, with no idea what you’re gonna do with your next breath.”
Zane: “Got some idea. Kicking the shit out of you right now sounds like a good one.” Fucking Buddha of the desert had fallen asleep. I kicked his snakeskin boot and he jolted awake. He straightened his hat and sat up with a shiver.
Seth: “Fuck. It’s cold.”
Zane: “No shit.” Maggie: "It’s subtle, but your eyes are clearer. You’ve been brighter, in general, since you stopped smoking up.”
I had to hold back a smile.
Maggie: “Yeah. Like all your dazzling-golden-sun-god shit just got more blinding. It’s annoying, really.”
Now I full-on grinned.
Zane: “Sun god?”
Maggie: “You know that’s what they call you. Rock’s golden god. Like, girls get a sun tan just gazing at you.”
I laughed. Maggie: “Please tell me, that you’ll never regret it. That you’re never gonna look at that tattoo on your finger and regret it.”
Zane: “It’s just ink on my skin, Maggie,”
he said, without even opening his eyes.
Zane: “You’re already in here.”
He laid his other hand over his heart. Zane: "So… that time we were in the toy store picking out gifts for baby Nick, and that clown doll with the acid-trip eyes made you scream… you weren’t scared?”
Maggie: “That doesn’t count. It jumped on me from the shelf.”
Zane: “Pretty sure it fell.”
Maggie: “And I didn’t scream.”
Zane: “Oh yes, you did. Like Ned Flanders.” Zane: “You have an outfit for this cheerleader thing?”
Maggie: “We can get one.”
Zane: “Hmm. I think I like the horny headmistress thing better. Come to think of it, I was a really, really bad student…”
Maggie: “Okay, now you’re just getting me hot. Which means,”
she said, sliding out of my lap and leaning over me,
Maggie: “I’m going to have to teach you what happens when you act up in my class.”
Then she kissed me suggestively, biting my lip for emphasis. Then she shoved me right down on my back and climbed on top.
Zane: “Holy shit, you got into character fast…”
The grin had faded from her face and the horniness had taken over, and she dove right in. We made out like we hadn’t fucked in weeks, forget that we’d done it twice this morning. Then some asshole knocked on the door.
Zane: “That’ll be Shady. I’ve gotta go.”
She smiled down at me. I groaned again and made a grab for her ass. Then she slid off me and we both got up.
Maggie: “I’ll see you later,”
she said sweetly. But I didn’t budge. As I stood looking down into Maggie’s gray eyes, I actually found myself wishing I didn’t have a show to do tonight so I could hang out with a woman instead. Huh. That was new. I sighed and kissed her, squeezing her round little ass one last time.
Zane: “You’re gonna be there early, right? Kiss me before I go onstage?”
Maggie: “Of course.”
I let her go and pulled on my leather vest.
Zane: “See you tonight, Maggie May.”
We kissed one last time, getting totally wrapped up in each other’s arms for way too long, then finally peeled ourselves apart again. She gave me another smile.
Zane: “Oh. Thanks.”
I took them off, then waggled my tongue at her as I headed for the door.
Maggie: “And you better let me touch that pen of yours. “Or I’m gonna spank you with my ruler!” Dolly: “You know, when I look at him, I still see that little boy in my kitchen, getting all under my feet and asking me to play with him while I was trying to make dinner. His parents were gone from his life too soon, Maggie. And he just wanted me to play with him. ‘Will you come play with me, Grandma?’ How many times did he ask me that? Must’ve been thousands over the years. I can still hear his little voice, and see that bright look in his eyes. He thought if he turned on the charm, if he was just cute enough, I’d drop what I was doing and come play with him. It usually worked.”
She laughed a little and I sniffled, trying not to cry. Jesus, this party was gonna kill me. I looked at Zane’s grandma as she fixed her blue eyes on me again. She placed her soft hand on my knee.
Dolly: “All that boy wanted was to be loved, Maggie.”
And I understood her. I knew what she meant. Zane had pursued me, for my love, from the moment we met, and I was pretty sure he would’ve pursued me to the ends of the Earth and the end of his days trying to get it. I took her hand and squeezed gently. She felt so frail, but there was strength in her yet.
Maggie: “I love him, Dolly,”
I told her, and it felt like a promise. She nodded.
Dolly: “All I ever wanted for him was to be happy and to be truly loved.”
Then she cupped my face with her free hand.
Dolly: “What more could I wish for him than you?” Zane: “I love you, Maggie, and I’m always gonna love you, so you’re just gonna have to deal with it,”
Maggie: “Absolutely the same right back at you,”
Zane: “And I’m never gonna promise you I won’t fuck up. We both know I’m gonna fuck up, but I’m never gonna give up on trying to do right by you.”
Maggie: “Same here.”
Zane: “This marriage means more to me than any other thing in my life, and I’m gonna make sure you know that, every day.”
Maggie: “Me, too.”
Zane: “You can’t just ditto your way through these vows, Maggs,”
he said, a happy sparkle in his eyes.
Maggie: “I know.” Maggie: "My love for you will be… you know, the wind beneath my wings and all that.”
Zane: “Holy shit. You are not gonna start serenading me with Sarah McLachlan…?”
Maggie: “Holy Christ. It’s Bette Midler. What rock have you been living under?”
Zane: “Are you still talking? These are the worst vows ever.”
Maggie: “Agreed. I didn’t have much time to prepare.” Jesse: “PRESENTING MR. AND MRS. MAGGIE OMURA!”
To which Zane punched him in the kidney.
Jesse: “Ooph. I mean, MR. AND MRS… ZANE TRAYNOR…?”
He threw me a look, covering his vital organs with his arms like he was expecting another punch. I just shook my head.
Jesse: “Uh, ZANE AND MAGGIE! Let’s eat.”