Dirty Like Seth
by Jaine Diamond
Book 3 in the Dirty Series
They all thought they knew him,
but only she knew his heart.
Seth Brothers had it all: the hottest rock album in the world, more money than he’d ever dreamed of, and Dirty—the band he loved like family.
Not bad for a former orphan and street kid.
But as Dirty hit the big time, Seth’s demons got the better of him and he hit bottom.
He lost it all—over an addiction, a whole lot of mistakes, and an ugly misconception.
Now all Seth’s got is a bad reputation, the guitar on his back, and a heart full of regrets.
And one last chance to get it all back… if he can crash an audition to join his former band—and slay it.
He slays it.
But he doesn’t get what he wants.
Instead, he gets the one thing he never expected: someone to believe in him.
As Dirty’s bassist, Elle Delacroix has it all—except the one thing that truly matters.
The only thing Seth has to give.
But if Seth really wants his life back, he’ll have to give it everything he’s got and then some.
Including the hardest truth.
There are two sides to every rock ’n’ roll story; it’s time for Seth to tell his.
Dirty Like Seth is the third novel in Jaine Diamond's Dirty series, and centers around Seth, Dirty's ex-guitarist, and Elle, Dirty's bassist. There are two sides to every story. The band has had an impossible time replacing Seth since they kicked him out after an almost fatal drug overdose. With them wanting to release a new album for their 10th anniversary as a band, they decide to film a reality series, with open, blind auditions to find someone with the talent they need. But Seth, four years sober, and hurting after losing his chance to get back in the band, decides to take another shot. And while he has the talent and heart, it can't overcome the bad blood. But Elle, seeing Seth afterward, feels differently. Giving him a chance to tell his side, she invites him to come on vacation with her. And he does. As Seth and Elle get to know one another again, feelings grow. But Seth refuses to get in between Elle and the band, and Elle knows the band will see it as a betrayal for her to be with Seth. Is there a way for these two to be together?
I REALLY LOVED THIS BOOK! For multiple reasons. The characters are great, and not just on surface level. We get DEEP character insight and growth, which is surprising for a contemporary. Jaine Diamond did a wonderful job with Seth, specifically when it comes to his addiction. Sober or not, he will always be an addict, and at four years sober, it still is a very prominent part of his life. And I loved that it wasn't swept under the rug. -------spoiler---------> I love that Jessa FINALLY stands up to her brother and boyfriend, and tells them the truth of what happened, and that she was just as responsible. Because she was. <----------------- As for Elle, I'm so happy she gets a happy ending, and with someone who feels like her true match. Their relationship just feels richer than the ones to date. Their bond grows through communication and music. It feels ... genuine.
I'm so glad this book was as good as it was. After Brody's book, I was worried, but I really did love this one. And I promise you will too.
Last night, after we’d talked, Seth had asked me if I thought I could ever forgive him. I couldn’t really give him an answer, but not because I couldn’t forgive him. It had only started to become clear to me when I woke up this afternoon: I didn’t really believe in forgiveness. For a long time, after Jesse broke up with me, I wanted him to forgive me. I kept waiting for him to change his mind and ask me to get back together with him, and when that didn’t happen, I started hoping he’d forgive me for whatever I did that was so wrong. I even asked him, once, if he was ever going to do that. He’d looked completely stunned by the question. Because of course, there was nothing to forgive. It wasn’t like he was mad at me for what happened between us, for our relationship not working out. At first, I was kind of confused about that. How could I make amends with him if there was nothing to forgive? Maybe I magically wanted something to change, to make things better between us. But that wasn’t going to happen overnight. We’d shared an intimacy that, in the end, hadn’t worked for us, and now we had to live with it. His way of living with it was to move on—big time. For me, it had taken a lot longer. But as time passed, I’d come to the realization that I actually hadn’t done anything wrong in that relationship. I was just me, and that wasn’t what he wanted. I didn’t need anyone to forgive me for that. And I didn’t need to forgive Seth Brothers for being who he was. No matter how much his actions had hurt me, hurt the band, hurt himself, he didn’t need forgiveness from me. In my mind, forgiveness implied that you were better than someone else, that they were seeking some kind of absolution from you. And that felt all wrong to me. I didn’t want to have that kind of power over anyone. I wasn’t better than Seth, just like Jesse wasn’t better than me. So I wasn’t looking to forgive or to be forgiven anymore. We’d all made mistakes. We were all entitled to carry on, to make mistakes again, to do our best. To be human. Personally, all I really wanted was to be free to be me with the people who were closest to me—flaws, fuck-ups and all. Not Elle the rock star. Just Elle. And to be loved for who I really was. That meant accepting other people as they really were, too. Elle: “You must’ve been pissed,”
I said quietly.
Seth: “Yeah, I fucking was. But mostly at myself. I still loved you guys.”
His voice broke a bit when he said,
Seth: “I always loved you.” Elle: “I know you care about Ash…”
Summer: “And so do you. That doesn’t mean either of us should feel guilty because we’re not in love with him.”
I sighed again. Relieved that she understood me so well, and that she wasn’t upset about any of this.
Elle: “I think I’m in love with you right now.”
Summer: “Get on a plane. I’ll show you a good time.” Elle: “Is this a dream?”
she murmured, breathily, and I could hear the smile in her words.
Seth: “If it is,”
I said, leaning in to kiss her again,
Seth: “don’t wake me up.” Angeline: "How many girls have you slept with?”
Mom: “Angeline! Jesus Christ.”
I jabbed her again. She ripped the fork from my hand beneath the table.
My mom threw up her hands.
Dad: “Baby girl,”
my dad warned.
Seth: “What’s a good answer to that question?”
Seth asked my sister. Angie used my fork to take a bite of her peach cobbler and considered.
Angeline: “How old are you?”
Angeline: “Ever been married?”
Angeline: “Five. Five’s a good answer. Not so many that you sound like a slut, but not so few you sound like a loser.”
Seth: “Five it is, then." Seth: “Elle,”
he said, pausing just long enough from eating me out to meet my eyes,
Seth: “if you’d given me the green light, back then, I would’ve fucked you in a hot minute.”
Okay. That was turning me on….
he mumbled, kissing his way back up my body, maybe mindful that I’d told him to hurry.
Seth: “It would’ve lasted a hot minute, too. Lucky for you, you waited for me…”
He kissed my breasts quickly, sucking each nipple into his mouth, rolling it around with his tongue, making me gasp and pretty much fucking purr.
Elle: “…lucky for me, you learned a few moves over the years.”
Seth: “You saying I’m good in bed?”
He licked his lip, gazing down at me. As he braced himself above me, he smoothed his cock over my pussy, making me shiver.
Elle: “You’re okay,”
I lied. He thrust into me and I cried out, an ecstatic, ragged, feral sound. He clamped his hand over my mouth.
Seth: “Shh. Wouldn’t want your parents to hear how lousy I am in bed.” We weren’t supposed to fall for each other… but we were. We both knew we were. I was falling for Seth Brothers, and he was falling for me… hard and fast. Zane: “Before you go thinking I’m an asshole for whatever you just saw, I married her. Last year, in Vegas.”
I would’ve assumed he was fucking kidding me, but his cool blue eyes were dead serious.
Zane: “No one knows about that, though.”
Seth: “And that makes you less of an asshole?”
I said. Zane burst out laughing. Elle: “You know what’s really fucked up?”
Elle spoke up, and we all looked over at her. She’d been sitting back, silent, just listening and watching us. Watching me. And my stomach twisted with dread. I had no idea how she was gonna feel about hearing all of this.
Elle: “You’re all having a conversation about Jessa, like she’s not even here. Just like you always did back then. News flash, guys: She’s not a little girl anymore.”
Maggie: “Amen,” Zane: “We’ll talk to Brody,”
he said, and this time, it meant everything to me.
Elle: “Thank you.”
I fought back tears as Zane hugged me, too.
Zane: “Thank you,”
Zane whispered in my ear.
Elle: “For what?”
Zane: “For bringing our boy back to us.”
He slapped me on the back, kind of a man slap, but I was used to these from Zane, a guy who didn’t exactly know how to relate to women who wouldn’t fuck him. Elle: “Maybe you don’t need a reason why you love someone,”
Seth: “Yes, you do.”
Elle: “Why do you love me?”
Even as the words left my mouth, I was afraid to ask. Seth hadn’t told me he loved me yet. I just knew that he did.
he said, sliding his hands up to cup my face,
Seth: “when I’m with you, I feel like myself. And somehow, when you look at me, I know that man is enough.”
I slipped my arms around his waist and held him tight against me.
Elle: “That’s because I love you, Seth.”
Tears sparked in his gray-green eyes.
Elle: “Because… when I’m with you… I feel like everything’s going to be okay. Even when it’s not.”
Seth: “I don’t know how I made you feel that way. I never felt that myself, until right now.”
he said, brushing his lips over mine.
Seth: “Right now.” Elle: “He? You’re having a—”
Jessa: “I don’t know. I don’t want to know.”
Jessa: “Brody wants to know, but I want to wait and find out when the baby pops into the world. Maybe it’s silly. It just seems more romantic to me.”
Elle: “It’s not silly. But isn’t it killing you not knowing?”
Jessa: “Kind of. It’s killing Brody more, though. He’s managed to cope by deciding we’re having a boy.”
Elle: “Why a boy?”
Brody: “Because if we have a girl,”
Brody said, strolling out onto the patio,
Brody: “she’ll look like you.”
He pulled Jessa into his arms.
Brody: “And every little shit in the neighborhood is gonna start following her home when she’s fucking twelve, and I’m gonna have to start collecting guns.” I could easily lose my shit and fuck her until she had a hard time walking out of here. But I was taking it slow, careful. Because another side effect of Elle being pregnant was that I was more than a little scared of hurting her. Or hurting the baby.
Elle: “It’s like a fucking grape seed,”
she panted, her fingernails digging into my ass as she struggled to pull me deeper.
Elle: “It’s tiny, and you can’t hurt it. The doctor said so. It’s a grain of rice. A fucking lentil…”
Seth: “Stop making me hungry…”
I teased, kissing her neck as she panted in frustration beneath me.
Elle: “You fucked the shit out of me the other night,”
he complained, hissing her impatience through her teeth as I gave it to her slow.
Elle: “You can do it again.”
Seth: “I didn’t know you were pregnant when I did that.”
Elle: “So? Pretend I’m not pregnant.”
Seth: “But you are pregnant.”
Elle: “Your dick doesn’t have to know that.”