Wallbanger by Alice Clayton



by Alice Clayton

Published by Omnific Publishing

Book 1 in the Cocktail Series

The first night after Caroline moves into her fantastic new San Francisco apartment, she realizes she's gaining an intimate knowledge of her new neighbor's nocturnal adventures.

Thanks to paper-thin walls and the guy's athletic prowess, she can hear not just his bed banging against the wall but the ecstatic response of what seems (as loud night after loud night goes by) like an endless parade of women. And since Caroline is currently on a self-imposed dating hiatus, and her neighbor is clearly lethally attractive to women, she finds her fantasies keep her awake even longer than the noise. So when the wallbanging threatens to literally bounce her out of bed, Caroline, clad in sexual frustration and a pink baby-doll nightie, confronts Simon Parker, her heard-but-never-seen neighbor. The tension between them is as thick as the walls are thin, and the results just as mixed. Suddenly, Caroline is finding she may have discovered a whole new definition of neighborly...

In a delicious mix of silly and steamy, Alice Clayton dishes out a hot and hilarious tale of exasperation at first sight...



Steamy Contemporary Romance Very funny & Sweet

Wallbanger is the first book in Alice Clayton's Cocktail series, and centers around Caroline, a twenty-something year old, successful interior designer, who has recently moved into her boss's swanky apartment. It's perfect - except in the middle of the night, when Alice's neighbor seems to be most active. After multiple nights of listening to her neighbor literally bang his bed into her wall, and the interesting quirks of the parade of women he brings home, she has enough, and she pounds on his door ... forgetting she went to bed in a pink nightie. When she meets Simon, their chemistry is electric, and the sexual tension thick enough to cut with a knife. Caroline seems to have met her match in Simon, but with her self-imposed dating hiatus, and Simon's wallbanging ways, can these two neighbors see eye to eye long enough to see what is right in front of them?

So Wallbanger has been on my tbr for over a year now, and in an effort to work away at the never ending tbr, and not give in to #booktok recommendations all the time, I decided to give it a whirl. The cover, and title make you think that this is all sex, but it's delightfully balanced. It's not unique or anything. It's the whole neighbor trope, and it follows a pretty standard romance arc. The writing, however, is original. Stella's inner thoughts are often weird, ridiculous, and hilarious. There is a fun chapter where its all random thoughts of everyone in a car after an awkward event that had me cackling. The writing is incredibly descriptive, yet simple. As I was reading, I was able to "see" it all playing out in my head like a movie - which doesn't happen all the time for me.

The characters are okay. I mean, I didn't hate them. While reading, I found them enjoyable. I just don't feel the need to reread this story, or declare a character a favorite. But these characters are fun, if a bit ridiculous. Caroline especially is quirky. Her friends are kinda meh. If I had to declare a favorite, Simon probably would be it, as he is kind of the whole character package. Sweet, smart, funny, and sexy. And of course Clive, Caroline's equally quirky cat. He even gets his own chapter. Yeah. I know. The. Cat. Gets. A. Chapter. Don't worry, it's short, and it's at the end. And it's pretty cute.

If you are looking for a contemporary romance that will have you literally laughing out loud, and enough sexual tension that when the sex happens (and when it happens, IT HAPPENS A LOT), it makes your toes literally curl, you will enjoy Wallbanger. With it's quirky characters, and fun, engaging, imaginative writing style, I guarantee you will love it.

  1. Caroline confronting Simon about the very loud sex

  2. Caroline and the girls, and Simon and the boys, having a pounding contest on the wall

  3. Caroline and Simon seeing each other at Jillian's party

  4. Simon playing music through the wall

  5. Caroline and Simon's texts.

  6. Caroline and Simon making apple pie

  7. Simon and Caroline watching The Exorcist, and being so freaking out, they "nooked"

  8. Caroline and Simon's toast to each other

  9. Make out in the hot tub

  10. Simon getting Caroline a sweater from Ireland

  11. The whole trip to Spain.

  12. Simon coming home early to find out why Caroline faked it


  14. The dirty talk involving baking had me crying from laughter

I slapped myself in the face and forced my mind to think of something besides the manwhore I was currently sharing a wall with. Inane things. Innocuous things.

Puppy dogs ... doggy style.

Ice cream cones ... licking his cone and two scoops.

Children's games ... damn, did I want to do whatever Simon Says ...

Okay enough! Now you aren't even trying.

Sophia: "So has he been wall banging at all this week?"

Caroline: "Relatively quiet, actually. Either he really listened to me and is being neighborly, or his dick finally broke off in one of them and he's sought medical attention."

Caroline: "Fucking Wallbanger."

His grin slid off as well as he played place-the-face for a moment.

Simon: "Fucking Pink Nightie Girl."

Simon: "Hmmm ... Well, good night, Caroline. Truce is still on, right?"

Caroline: "Truce is still on, unless you do something to make me mad again."

Simon: "Oh, count on that. And Caroline? Speaking of thin walls?"

Caroline: "Yes?"

The smirk reappeared and he said

Simon: "Sweet dreams."

He thumped the wall one more time, winked, and went inside.

Huh. Sweet dreams and thin walls. Sweet dreams and thin walls ...

Mother of pearl. He'd heard me.

Simon: "Truce still on?"

Caroline: "I don't know, what does Simon say?"

Simon: "Oh, Simon says, hell yes. It's on!"

Caroline: "What a disaster!"

Simon: "Could have been worse. You could have had to deal with this after only three hours' sleep, and being woken up by some woman screaming at the top of her lungs."

I arched one eyebrow, and he recanted.

Caroline: "Okay, bad example since that scenario is something you're familiar with."


Simon: You never answered my question.

Caroline: About whether I'm fucking anyone?

Simon: Jesus, you're crass. But yes, friends can ask that, can't they?

Caroline: Yes they can.

Simon: So?

Caroline: You're kind of a pain in the ass. You know this, right?

Simon: Tell me. Don't get shy on me now.

Caroline: As it happens, no. I'm not.

I heard a thud from next door, and then a slight but constant banging on the wall.

Caroline: What the hell are you doing? Is that you're head?

Simon: You're killing me, Nightie Girl.

Simon: "So, what are you gonna do with that?"

Caroline: "With this?"

I asked, leaning over the board, and perhaps arching my back a little as I did.

Simon: "Mmm-hmm."

Caroline: "I'm gonna roll this crust out. See, like this?"

I teased again, thrusting the pin back and forth over the dough, making sure I arched my back each time and the forward action pushed my girls together.

Simon: "Oh my."

Caroline: "You gonna be okay over there, big guy? This is just the top crust, I still need to work on my bottom."

His hands clutched at the edge of the counter.

Simon: "Apples. Apples. Gonna peel me some apples."

Caroline: "Let me just get you the peeler."

I said, coming up behind him and pressing myself against him as I curled around his side to grab the vegetable peeler from the other sink. This was fun.

Simon: "Peeling apples, just peeling apples. Didn't feel your boobs. No, no, not me."

He looked around for a dishtowel, and I turned to look for the one I knew I'd left out. I'd already started for it on the counter when I felt two very strong and very specifically placed hands on my ass.

Caroline: "Um, hi?"

Simon: "Hi."

Caroline: "Explain yourself, please."

Simon: "You told me to find something to clean my hands with."

he stuttered, trying hard not to laugh as he gave each cheek a little squeeze.

Caroline: "And you took that to mean my ass?"

I laughed back and turned to face him, removing his hands with my own.

Simon: "What can I say? I take liberties with my neighbors."


Caroline: Prepare yourself, I'm taking bread out of the oven.

Simon: Don't tease me, woman ... zucchini?

Caroline: Cranberry orange. Mmmm...

Simon: No woman has ever done breakfast bread foreplay the way you do.

Caroline: Ha! When are you coming?

Simon: Can't. Drive. Straight.

Caroline: Can we have one conversation where you're not twelve?

Simon: Sorry, I'll be there in 30.

Caroline: Perfect, that will give me time to frost my buns.

Simon: Pardon me?

Caroline: Oh, I didn't tell you? I also made cinnamon rolls.

Simon: Be there in 25.