Tuesday Ten Mar. 3rd, 2020
It's March Break here (or spring break to some of you), and one of my favorite ways to relax, other than laying in bed with wine and a great book, is laughing with my family and friends. Here is my top ten list of funniest book characters that I have encountered so far.
10. Josh Tanner from To Have & To Hold by Lauren Layne
Heather: "For someone who complains about his mother's lack of boundaries, you're definitely crossing some on your own."
Josh: "What can I say, a chip off the old block. Also, 4C, can we talk about your bra choice?"
Heather: "No."
Josh: "Because I've got to tell you, if we're going to do the deed, I'd like to request something other than that light brown thing in your hand. It looks like something my grandma would wear."
Heather: "First of all, its a nude bra, not light brown."
Josh: "It's brown."
Heather: "Second of all, where on earth did you get the idea that we're going to do the deed?"
Josh: "You were muttering about needing a cold shower, and I can assure you that scratching the itch is a better solution than trying to stifle it."
Heather: "Gross."
Josh: "Also, I just saw your ass, and ... well done, 4C. From the day I met you, I knew you had sweet buns, and we just confirmed it."
#theweddingbelles #laurenlayne
9. Chloe Bellamy from Crushed
Chloe: "Well, of course he's protective of me. We're friends and you look like you collect virgins for a living."
Chloe: "Go forth and be loose with thy morals."
Chloe: "Did you finally realize that her personality's not worth the boner?"
Michael: *laughs* "Jesus, Chloe."
8. Brody Quaid from Once Loved by Cecy Robson
Sister Marguerite: "Mr. Quaid! This is a facility for reading, studying, and researching, not socializing. If you're going to talk to Miss Tres Santos, I suggest you do so back in her quarters."
Brody: "But I don't go to Lety's room to talk, Sister."
Sister Marguerite: "You're already going to hell, Mr. Quaid. Kindly don't drag Miss Tres Santos there with you."
Brody: "How could I be going to hell with you on my side, Sister? What say you help me save my soul? Maybe say the rosary on my behalf - put in a good word to Saint Peter for me?"
Sister Marguerite: "I'll say a few Hail Marys, and perhaps light a candle, after I tell Father O'Key to expect you in confession on Saturday."
Brody: *Does gun pointing gesture with hand and clicks his tongue* "It's a date, sweet thing."
7. Luc from The Origin Series by Jennifer L. Armentrout
Evie: "you're - you're trying to kidnap me!"
Luc: "Hmm. I wouldn't say I'm trying to kidnap you. I would say that I'm actively offering you a place to stay for an undetermined amount of time."
Evie: "That's just a really nice way of saying you're kidnapping me!"
Luc: "I kinda like the arm-grabbing thing. Very dominant of you. Maybe I'm the submissive type in, you know, the -"
Evie: "Shut up."
#thedarkeststar #jenniferlarmentrout
6. Jace from The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare
“Have you fallen in love with the wrong person yet?' Jace said, "Unfortunately, Lady of the Haven, my one true love remains myself." ..."At least," she said, "you don't have to worry about rejection, Jace Wayland." "Not necessarily. I turn myself down occasionally, just to keep it interesting.”
“A diary with no drawings of me in it? Where are the torrid fantasies? The romance covers?”
5. William from The Infernal Devices by Cassandra Clare
“Are you implying that shreds of my reputation remain intact?" Will demanded with mock horror. "Clearly I have been doing something wrong. Or not something wrong, as the case may be." He banged on the side of the carriage. "Thomas! We must away at once to the nearest brothel. I seek scandal and low companionship.”
“Jessamine recoiled from the paper as if it were a snake. "A lady does not read the newspaper. The society pages, perhaps, or the theater news. Not this filth." "But you are not a lady, Jessamine---," Charlotte began. "Dear me," said Will. "Such harsh truths so early in the morning cannot be good for the digestion.”
#clockworkangel #cassandraclare
4. Katy Swartz from The LUX series by Jennifer L. Armentrout
Kat: "Humping my leg like a dog in heat every time I'm around you doesn't prove you like me, Daemon."
Lesa: "What's his deal?"
Katy: "I don't know. Must be his time of the month."
Katy: "No. Not in a million years. I couldn't imagine any of this when I knocked on your door. All I was really thinking about that day was your abs. And that you were a flaming asshole."
#theluxseries #jenniferlarmentrout
3. Cole from Irresistibly Yours by Lauren Layne
Cole: "Tiny, the day I willingly let a naked woman leave my apartment after a world-class blow job is the day you should just euthanize me."
Cole ordered a hotdog and coke.
Penelope: "Yuck, no ketchup"
Cole: "It's my hotdog."
Penelope: "Which I'll be having a bite of. And I don't like ketchup on my dogs."
Cole: "What happened to not sharing?"
Penelope: "Are you, or are you not, a gentleman, Cole Sharpe?"
In response, he deliberately added ketchup to his hot dog. More than he usually would. Then he took a big bite, holding her gaze the entire time.
Penelope: "That's how it's gonna be, huh? This is our ball game future?"
He licked ketchup from his lip.
#irresistiblyyours #laurenlayne #oxfordseries
2. Aiden from The Five Year Plan by Carla Burgess
Aiden: "They don't call me Aiden the Sex God for nothing."
Orla: "Oh really? Who calls you that?"
Aiden: "Well, no one, but you could start if you wanted."
Aiden: "How long do you wait before sleeping with someone?"
Orla: "Oh, err, well ... Longer than a week, which is all you've given poor Eric from IT!"
Aiden: "Poor Eric? Does Eric actually exist?"
Orla: "No! You made him up, not me."
Aiden: "So why are we suddenly feeling sorry for an imaginary man with erectile dysfunction? Is it because you're overthinking things again? Imagining how sad Eric will be if you leave him? How you could fix his little problem if you just give it time and work through his issues together?"
Orla: "No! I just ... I don't ... I'm ..."
Aiden: "See that;s the problem with women. You're always looking ahead. Five days, five weeks, five years. I haven't got a clue where I'll be in five year. I could be dead for all I know. Eaten by a lion or trampled by a hippopotamus."
Orla: "Well, that's a cheery thought."
#thefiveyearplan #carlaburgess
1. Daemon from The LUX series by Jennifer L. Armentrout
Kat: "You're not going to heal me, are you?"
Daemon: "Uh, no, because who knows what will happen then? You might turn into an alien."
Kat: "Humping my leg like a dog in heat every time I'm around you doesn't prove you like me, Daemon."
Daemon: "Actually, that's how I show people I like them."
Daemon: "Simmer down, Kitten,before I have to get you a ball of yarn to play with."
Daemon: "Who's this douche?"
Luc: "God, I knew there was a reason I liked you."
#theluxseries #jenniferlarmentrout #reading #books #reviews #tuesdayten #topten